Phoenix would like to share the following bullet points with mal owners everywhere. He feels it will make life easier for everyone involved. I sure wish he would have told me some of this stuff 3 years ago.
* If I want it and I can get it — I will. You might as well just give it to me now and save yourself the headache.
* If you don’t want me to get something, don’t leave it where I can get it. Ever.
* Putting something behind a closed door does not mean it’s safe.
* Just because I didn’t eat the cat yesterday doesn’t mean I won’t try it today.
* The best way to keep you from taking something away from me is to swallow it. Works every time.
* Anything I catch in the yard with my own paws and teeth is MINE. Go catch your own bird if you want one.
* Someone needs to teach the vacuum cleaner a lesson. Since I don’t see anyone else doing it, I’m volunteering.
* I really don’t see a problem with biting at the towel while you’re drying off after a shower.
* Just because you wouldn’t eat that, doesn’t mean I can’t.
* Explain to me again why, exactly, you want me to sit still for 3 minutes. And the point of this is . . . what?
* As a matter of fact, the shortest distance between you and me IS straight through the flower bed.
* Everything I do is calculated to elicit a response from you. So I will continue to nuzzle, poke, lick, air snap, cuddle, nibble, push, paw, squeak, bark and steal things until you do what I want. You can pre-empt all this by just doing what I want in the first place. Boy, you are slow some days but I love you anyway. You have thumbs and can open the refrigerator. And throw the ball. And scratch my itchy spots. I'll keep you.
As Tervs, we give your list 8 paws and 2 tails up!
ReplyDeleteBrice
LOL - you are describing my life... and I don't even live with Phoenix (ok... maybe I live with his short hairy cousin!).
ReplyDeleteTOO FUNNY!! Maybr you should sit for 3 minutes!! TRY IT!!! I'll bet your nose will itch!!! You can't scratch it!!
ReplyDeleteEgan the Mal agrees. If I want it and I can get it, I am going to take it! Taking things is fun!
ReplyDeleteLove it! Thought I'd share the list I created when Taz the Terv was six month old:
ReplyDelete10 Things to Consider Before Getting a Belgian Tervuren
1.You will want to feed your Belgian a high-quality diet, such as premium kibble or raw meat with bones and pureed raw veggies. There are many excellent supplements available, from vitamins to coat enhancers. No matter. Your Belgian will supplement its diet with a variety of healthful items such as bugs, underwear, small plastic toys and aluminum soda cans.
2. Although not a water dog per se, such as the Newfoundland, Belgians have served as water rescue dogs, and many are fond of water. If you really feel you need rescuing in the shower, this is a good thing.
3. Belgians are highly intelligent dogs, capable of serving with distinction as obedience competitors, police dogs and search and rescue dogs. They are also capable of figuring out how to open the pantry door, how to access the bag of cat food and, in some instances, how to open the refrigerator. Be careful about where you leave your credit cards.
4. In addition to herding sheep, Belgians historically also had the job of guarding the flock. Your Belgian can be counted on to protect you with great ferocity from garden hoses, dogs barking on the television and the occasional suspect stuffed toy.
5. You should plan on keeping your Belgian’s mind and body active through performance venues such as herding, obedience, tracking and flyball. You should also plan on your Belgian keeping your mind and body active through such popular events as “Godammit, give that back to me right now” and “kitchen hurdles,” in which a human is required to traverse the kitchen several times in the course of making dinner without breaking a bone tripping over one or more dogs who always manage to be in precisely the most inconvenient spot.
6. You will want to invest in a crate, which will be a safe, comfy den for your puppy to sleep in while being housebroken. And when you give in after many nights of hysterical howls and yipping, and leave the darned creature out, the crate makes a convenient surface upon which to store those jeans that don’t fit in the drawer.
7. Belgians are graceful, athletic dogs who do well at sports such as agility, which require leaping and balancing. They also do well surmounting such obstacles as table tops, countertops and rooftops.
8. Your Belgian wants nothing more than to be your faithful companion, sitting loyally at your feet. Or on your feet. Or, if the feet are not available, it will settle for gnawing on your shoes, untying your shoelaces and swallowing your socks.
9. Belgians are a sensitive breed, and should be trained through gentle, motivational techniques, such as clicker training. But don’t expect the Belgian to avoid using aversive training techniques on you. For instance, “If you wanted to keep those placemats, you shouldn’t have left me by myself” is considered perfectly acceptable in the Owner Training Manual for Belgians.
10. The elegance and distinctive beauty of your Belgian will draw you into conversation with a variety of strangers. Memorize this dialogue:
“What kind of a mix is that?”
“Actually, it’s not a mix, it’s a purebred Belgian Tervuren.”
“A Belgian What?”
“A Belgian Shepherd.”
If you tire of these exact lines, you can circumvent the predictable dialogue by introducing your dog as Belgian Waffle, a Belgian Anthound, or “That’s right, it’s a cross between a German Shepherd and a Collie.” Or, if you don’t care for lying, “As a matter of fact, it’s a cross between a lap rug and a garbage disposal.”
Coach is the king of "I eat it, it's mine forever." Surgery made a liar out of him!
ReplyDeleteI just got my first Mal, and wow, this list IS my life! :-)
ReplyDelete