Friday, January 22, 2010

Mama said there'd be days like this . . .

When it comes to proper office etiquette and professional behavior, it is incorrect to shout obscenities in the workplace, even if you’re not shouting them directly at a co-worker or customer. Here at the newspaper office, we feel there are occasional exceptions. This morning from about 8 a.m. to noon was one of them.

The morning started out well enough but quickly deteriorated. I’d proofread a 20-page special section, found out the section had been “jumped” by 4 more pages at the last minute and guess who was responsible for its completion now? Had a quick council of war with the advertising and ad composition departments, generated more copy to fill the extra pages, laid out the copy, edited the copy and was nearly done - and then the power went out for no apparent reason.

I had no idea if I’d hit Command Save any time in the last few minutes and thought I’d lost the whole morning's work. (Turns out I HAD saved, it’s one of those things that has become so automatic over the years I do it without thinking about it, then can’t remember if I did it.)

Actually, I thought I showed a fair amount of restraint by yelling “SON OF A B*TCH!” as the office faded to black. What I really wanted to yell was a four-letter word that rhymes with duck. No, not truck, luck, stuck, buck, suck, muck or yuck.

But I didn’t. I’m not totally immature.

As it turned out, the office was plunged into instant chaos anyway (truly, the world comes to an end when computer screens go dark, no matter what department you’re in) and nobody even noticed my little hissy fit. Or maybe they did but were too scared of me to mention it. It’s not a good thing when the lifestyles editor starts acting bipolar.

And what was the topic of the special section that caused so much stress? Health and fitness. We called it “Fit For Life.”

I’ve since renamed it. It’s now called “Having A Fit.”

Today I’m thankful for co-workers who are polite enough to be occasionally deaf.

5 comments:

  1. Actually, when the lifestyle editor starts acting bipolar, you could end up in the obits!!

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  2. Funny for us, bad for you! Glad you saved!

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  3. I would have used it! G
    Hey...LOVE the SIDE BAR Photos!!
    Where's Jesse? We'll need to find one of that
    'HOT DOG'!! Hey, I finished his U-CDX ya know! G

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  4. I'll find a pic of Jess and get it on there. TG for you and Mom or he never would have gotten that U-CDX! What are friends for if not for scaring other friends dogs into sitting still for 3 minutes!

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  5. Hey, hey, hey...using that special four letter duck-rhyme isn't a sign of total immaturity. Sometimes it's very much needed and appropriate. You showed way more restraint than I would have.

    One of my most memorable "having a fit" stories while at work was : I work in a pharmacy. It's a very busy, ridiculously understaffed pharmacy filled with cranky seniors and strung out junkies as patients. We were having one of those days where every single thing went wrong, it was the worst case scenario.

    As I was trying to fix a printer, type prescriptions, fill prescriptions, counsel patients, fix insurance problems, etc., the phone kept ringing. When we answer the phone we can't just say "hello" we have a whole stupid little greeting to say. Every single time I finished my greeting, there was silence. Nobody was there.

    I was getting more and more angry because I didn't have time to answer the phone, ESPECIALLY if nobody would respond back! So after about the 6th or 7th time having nobody answer, the phone started ringing again.

    I said, "I swear to God, there better be someone on the other end of this line, or I'm going to rip the mother (*&^$ing phone off the wall."

    Except, little did I realize, that I was speaking AS I WAS BRINGING THE PHONE TO MY EAR.

    So whoever was on the other line - with my luck, a poor little 85 year old Grandma - heard my threat, and promptly hung up.

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