As seen on TV!

In all my life, I don't think I've ever bought anything that claimed to be "As seen on TV!" In the last month I have bought two of them. Ironically enough, I had never seen either of them advertised on TV. Maybe because I hardly watch TV.

The first came in a weak moment as I was strolling through PetCo to restock up on that Natural Balance semi-moist dog food, the stuff that comes in a big roll and looks enough like summer sausage than an unsuspecting person who didn't know any better might, just might, almost make a sandwich with it. But that happened a long time ago. The Farmer is a lot wiser now.

Anyway, I had just gone nine rounds with Phoenix about his nails the day before. Sometimes he is an absolute gentleman about nail clipping. Some days he is hell on four paws and he doesn't want any of them messed with. Which I can't figure out. He loves to cuddle in my lap and have his paws fiddled with. I can rub his paws and tug on nails and he gives me that sweet, sleepy-eyed look that just melts my heart.

But put him on the grooming table and get out the toenail clippers and it's the Malinois From Hell. Okay. Maybe it's not that bad. We usually have a little rodeo, which I eventually win, then he gives me the hairy eyeball and gives up. I'm just tired of having the rodeo.

So I thought what the heck, maybe this little gadget would be the answer. I wasn't holding my breath but what's another $12 in the grand scheme of things? (Yes, I had a dremmel-type nail grinder once upon a time but do you think I know where it is? Don't laugh. You've lost things like that, too.) I wasn't expecting much since it's been my experience that anything that advertises itself as INCREDIBLE usually falls short of the mark.

It works! The Malinois From Hell could care less about having his nails ground. He stands there and blinks and looks bored and doesn't fuss at all. I wouldn't recommend it for a Great Dane and it probably works better on a chihuahua than a malinois but still, it was worth the money. And to be honest, it worked a lot better after I unscrewed the "safety cap" and used it straight up bare. Yeah, we're livin' on the edge. This thing doesn't have the RPMs of a regular dremmel tool and I think it would be pretty hard to get hurt with it. If I find a way, I'll let you know.

Next came the EggGenie. We eat a lot of hard boiled eggs at our house. There are days when I think all I do is cook, wash dishes, train dogs and boil eggs. Seriously.

I tend to be suspicious of anything labled "Genie." That sounds an awful lot like someone else doing the work for you and while that sounds great in theory, it often ends up being more work than if you'd just done it yourself in the first place.

But if you've ever had an egg-boiling incident, you will appreciate the simplicity of not having to wait for a pot to boil, then . . . er . . . forgetting about it and going off and doing something else only to come back and find eggs exploded all over your stovetop. It weren't purty.

I was hooked. I had to have it. I brought it home, loaded it up (it holds 7 eggs) and fired it up. It took 13 minutes before the little timer went off. The eggs were perfect. They were so easy to peel they nearly jumped right out of their shells.

Do you supposed they make a ToenailGenie?