I’ve lost dogs before and each one of them broke my heart but Connor was different. I don’t know why exactly but I don’t think it had anything to do with being my first OTCh. or anything specifically connected to trials or obedience stuff. I think it was more his approach to life.
He never said never. If I wanted him to do it, he did it.
Finishing his MX, 2002, DMOTC trial at Indianola, IA(Photo by Tien Tran)
Connor did not have very good structure. His front was very straight and he was a truly awful jumper. I’m sure my training methods back then didn’t help things any but in spite of ourselves he got his MX/MXJ and his OTCh. He was the dog who taught me that if you want something badly enough and believe you can do it, you can.
That was his biggest gift to me and that’s probably the reason I think about him so much. Whenever I need a mental dose of “you can do it” I think of Connor and his goofy Sheltie grin, the one he had before he started barking at something. And spinning. And barking.
First UD leg, Marshalltown, IAApril 1998
I thought maybe this summer I’d set out a new plant in one of my perennial flower beds in his memory. I Googled plants with “Black Diamond” in their name, since that was Connor’s registered name, OTCh., U-OTCh. Sunazie’s Black Diamond, UDX5, MX, MXJ. Apparently, there are black diamond varieties of ficus, watermelon, blackberry and helleborus. Can’t say any of those were what I was looking for.
Then it hit me, the perfect plant for Connor is a stargazer lily. Connor was my “shooting star” dog. The day he finished his OTCh., I got up in the middle of the night to drive to a one-day trial in the middle of nowhere in Illinois. I almost didn’t go. I thought about just going back to bed. I was loading the van and looked up at the sky and saw a shooting star. Just one. It was huge and silver and beautiful and I made a wish on it because I always wish on shooting stars. Seven hours later, we won a huge Utility B class for 24 points, exactly one more than we needed to finish.
I miss you, Skunk Dog.
You are not weird, he was your heart dog and that is why your heart remembers him every single day!
ReplyDeleteI think you would be weird to NOT think about one so special. What a lovely tribute.
ReplyDeleteYou're not weird... I think you are completely normal - I think about Tessie all the time and it will be three years in November.
ReplyDeleteConnor was such a cool dog... gotta love those industrial sized Shelties!!!
Normal or not I know how you feel. I think about Oreo every day too. I look at the pictures on the wall and think about how his coat felt as i stroked his head. Last night I even cried-out of the blue, hadn't done that in a while. In some ways I hope I never love another dog that much and in some ways I hope I do.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely not weird - or else the entire dog lover world are a bunch of weirdos and crazies. (Bad example) - I went through the same thing this past week, and it's been 7 years. I know exactly what you mean about it breaking your heart in a different type of way than normal.
ReplyDeleteI first read this post on my phone, which of course has a smaller screen. Above the picture of him coming out of the chute, I read "If I wanted him to do it, he did it." but it looked (on my small screen) like he was dragging the entire chute with his mouth. It was funny, until I saw the caption underneath, and then I realized what it really was.
The shooting star story gave me goosebumps - how's THAT for a sign!! I really like the choice of Stargazer Lily.
It's a beautiful gift that he left you - the "you can do it" outlook. Hope the Belgians can make you smile a lot today.
You are very normal. I lost my Tawny (GSD) 8 years ago and on the same date this year Tawny came for my Mom and then I lost two of Tawny's girls within 10 days of each other (I kept the litter of 4 and have one girl left who will turn 13 in just a few months.) Tawny is a dog that I will think about till the day I die... Love your shooting start flower.
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