CSI Homestead

I discovered the crime at 7:55 p.m., upon arriving home from my late shift at work Monday evening. It was obvious things were not as they should be when I pulled into the garage.

Let's follow the clues.

The dogs were not in the kennel but lots of shredded plastic was.
No usable pawprints could be found.
DNA was collected from the remains and sent to the lab.

Hmmm. Shredded plastic and dirt leading
from the garage interior out to the kennel.

A clue to the victim's identity!

Here's the body, still at the crime scene.
Obviously the victim of a savage attack.
Note the defensive wounds.
This formerly BRAND NEW 2.5 cubic foot bag of potting soil
is now a 1 cubic foot bag of potting soil.
Never mind that it was ON TOP of the dog box,
off the floor and behind a baby gate.
Time of death: between noon and 7:45 p.m.
Cause of death: multiple slashing wounds.

This is the witness. Or possibly an accomplice.
But probably just a witness.
He has no previous record,
at least not in this type of crime.

Here's the suspect.
He's also wanted for the Great Honey Caper of July '07
and other miscellaneous crimes.
Is that a guilty look?
I think not.
He was examined closely for trace evidence.
Finding none, he was released.
We suspect he is a repeat offender and will be watched closely.

The Farmer denied any knowledge of the event.
The investigation was closed because everyone wanted their suppers.