Not-so-rhetorical questions

Are you a redneck if you use the heated seats in your van to keep a carry-out pizza warm on the drive home? Cuz it works really well.

Can a dog wear out a Kong? Cuz I just ordered a couple of new ones for the Belgians. Their old collection of Kongs was starting to show some serious wear and tear. Jamie isn’t quite as tough on them as he used to be but Phoenix chews on them even after whatever goodies I’ve stuffed inside are long gone. He chews and chews and chews. I shudder to think about the jaw muscles he’s building, chewing, chewing, chewing. Sometimes I swear he looks at me and smiles and flexes his jaw muscles. Show off.

What exactly is a “varmint dog”? Cuz I think I have one. You hear that term tossed around in places like the local farm store or sale barn, as in “I got me a good varmint dog” or “You’re gonna need a good varmint dog to get rid of them pesky critters.” The reason I ask is Phoenix took off after a groundhog over the weekend. Or as one might say, “He lit out after that pesky varmint.”

We were out walking. He spotted the groundhog. The groundhog spotted him. Hot pursuit followed. Phoenix ran the critter to ground in its den under some big round bales, then proceeded to try digging it out. If his career in obedience and agility doesn’t work out, apparently I could open an excavating business. He did some serious earth-moving in a very short period of time.

Groundhogs are not something to be trifled with, so I’m glad it didn’t come to that. But now I can add another varmint to the list of creatures Phoenix has pursued, caught, eaten and/or alerted to: moles, voles, ground squirrels, tree squirrels, rabbits, birds, cats, raccoons and now groundhogs. Also, he’s had a rifle fired over his head on more than one occasion and took absolutely no notice of it so I’m not sure if that adds to his “varmint dog” street cred or not.