Thursday, May 5, 2011

Thank doG . . .

. . . for small town pharmacies.

I finally caved this morning and admitted I am NOT getting better (although I've got my voice back — my cigarettes and whiskey voice but it's better than squeaking like a mouse) and went to the drug store a block from where I work. This is a wonderful drug store. It's the kind where the pharmacist actually comes out from behind the counter to help you.

She listened to me croak and hack for about 20 seconds and said, "Oh, you don't want anything off the shelf. You want the GOOD stuff we keep behind the counter."

So after signing a form to promise I wasn't going to make meth with the pseudoephedrine decongestant or that I wasn't going to do anything stupid while under the influence of codeine-enhanced cough syrup, I happily left. That was earlier this morning. Now my head is relatively clear, thanks to a loading dose of that lovely potential meth ingredient (really, I try not to think about that very much). I'm being responsible and will not dose myself with the cough syrup until I'm safely home for the evening, after class tonight. But the promise of an actual night's sleep is a wonderful thing.

FYI: Iowa has a system set up to track who buys pseudoephedrine, how much, when and where. I don't know if this is a national system or not but it's a way to crack down on meth cookers, who buy a lot of it. It's perfectly legal to buy cold medicine that contains the stuff but you have to sign for it and then if you try to buy more than the allowed quantity in a certain amount of time, I think all sorts of red flags go up and law enforcement pays you a visit.

I didn't sleep last night. I coughed. Pretty much all night. Just ask the Farmer. And the night before that . . . and the night before that . . .

So when we all got up this morning, I shoved food at various mouths and then went back to bed. I crawled in, thought about setting the alarm and then decided screw it, if I was late to work, I was late to work. "Wake me up at 7 a.m., guys," I said and crashed. Phoenix snuggled up against my stomach and Jamie curled up against my back. They are totally into the napping scene.

Some time later, I could feel eyes looking at me. I opened one eye. Yep. Confirmed. Phoenix was about six inches from my face, staring at me. Have you ever been woken up by the power of a dog's stare? Then you know what I'm talking about. I stretched and yawned and looked at the clock: 6:58.

It's really scary when they do that.


  1. Glad you have finally gotten something to help your symptoms! My dogs have a powerful internal alarm clock as well, which is difficult on days where I'm NOT getting up at 4:45 to swim, and it's always an amazing thing!

  2. I'm glad you're feeling better! Yes, the good stuff is behind the counter.

    It's a federal law that regulates how much you get per day/week/year. And don't worry, you need a ridiculous amount to make meth. One bottle isn't even a fraction of what you'd need.

    Also, law enforcement wouldn't get involved unless you get caught using multiple identities. The pharmacies who write it by hand enter the information at least nightly. They're supposed to enter it after every transaction, but I doubt they do. Then if they try to ring it at the register it just will not work.

    PS- if you don't mind, which cough syrup did you get? Because all codeine is prescription only in the US (Canada has it OTC). The ones behind the counter just have pseudophedrine which is used to make meth.

  3. I wish my dogs were skilled enough to wake me up on time for work. As it is, they will let me nap all day happily.

  4. It's amazing the amount of work the meth cookers will go to! Iowa County has had some spectacular meth lab busts over the years. When I was doing a lot of TDX work with Jamie, we were in some pretty wild territory and that was always my biggest fear - that we would stumble into someone's meth lab! Never did - just angry deer and wild turkeys.

    The cough syrup is called Cheratussin AC. It contains 10 mg codeine phosphate. Maybe that's not the same thing as "real" codeine? Whatever, as long as it knocks out this cough and knocks me out, too!

  5. Lucky Iowans! Cheratussin AC is RX only here. You're right though, that's codeine. I'm jealous - that's good stuff for cough!

    The pseudophedrine stuff is federal though. When I lived in Oklahoma for those few months I was shocked at the number of meth labs. It's crazy!

    Enjoy your Cheratussin, it's good stuff!