Questions of the day

Question #1: "How many times can a John Deere combine catch on fire before it is totaled?" 

Answer: possibly three, but that is pending the insurance adjuster's final decision. The Farmer's combine went up in flames last Friday. This was after two minor fires earlier in the harvest season that were put out by an on-board extinguisher. This latest fire was put out by the Williamsburg Volunteer Fire Department. 

Combine fires are not unusual this time of year. Neither are field fires caused by driving an on-fire combine across dry cornstalks. The Farmer and his brother rented a combine to finish the harvest since theirs got crispy crittered. It's looking like early December before they get done this year.

Question #2: If the Farmer is in the basement and the Farmer's Wife is in the kitchen, did he really not hear her yell "Oh F***ing Bloody Hell that hurt!" and come to her rescue when she drove a screwdriver tip into her thumb by accident? 

Answer: He says he didn't. I think he just didn't want to come near me when I swear like that. I'm fine. Really. The bleeding stopped eventually. And I got that nasty-ass little screw out of the remote on my indoor-outdoor weather station so I could change the batteries.

Question #3: If you take the lights off the Christmas tree and put them in a storage box and put the box in an empty upstairs bedroom with all the other Christmas stuff after the holidays last year, where will you find the lights this year? 

Answer: Darned if I know! I was going to put up our little Christmas tree today and well, I did put it up but that's all I did because I can't find the lights. The Farmer claims to know nothing about them. And I notice all the screwdrivers have disappeared from the junk drawer.

Question #4: If I put all my agility equipment away in the garage, will that guarantee a nice, mild, nearly snow-free winter?

Answer: It better! Because doG knows what's happened the last couple of years when I left it out! So if being prepared means we don't get 48 inches of snow this year, you can thank me in the spring.