Thursday, February 23, 2012

This is why . . .

. . . I'm late for things sometimes.

I ran into a little road block on the way home from work yesterday. (Apologies for pic quality. They were shot through the windshield. Which thankfully is much cleaner than the rest of R2.)

Bad news: the cows are out.
Good news: they aren't our cows.
So I called the Farmer.
His brother-in-law is a herdsman for Amana Farms.
For once, loose cows were someone else's problem.

Option A: back up 1 mile, turn around and drive 7 miles out of the way to get home via the highway.
Option B: drive through 100+ head of cows and calves to get to home 2 miles away.

I chose Option B.
I'd drive really slow and the cows would get out of my way, right?

I wondered what my insurance agent would say if I filed a claim for having my van head-butted by a mama cow? Can't be worse than filing a claim for having an outside mirror knocked off by a raccoon falling out of the rafters.

Good news: I got through the herd w/o a scratch.
Bad news: They all started following me down the road. I was the Pied Piper of Homestead.

Cows like following motorized vehicles. Food often flies out of them. Holy crap. If I showed up at home with 100 cows that weren't ours, I was pretty sure that would be a problem.

I cleared the herd and floored R2. Poor cows. They got left in the dust. So sad.

I took a different route to work this morning.


  1. That is hilarious. My professor in college didn't believe me, one time, when I said I was late because a flock of peacocks was in the middle of the road and wouldn't move.

  2. Only you... seriously... only you.

  3. I don't work anymore but if I did, I would print this out and keep it in my pocket for one of my MANY excuses for being late... hey it would certainly work where i live!

  4. All that's missing is Hoss, Adam and Little Joe!! VBG

  5. Coming home from a training session one day I saw traffic on the other side of the road (thank goodness) stopped. For a shaggy Longhorn laying in the road relaxing. It didn't appear to be hurt. But it didn't look like it planned to move anytime soon. This is in suburban MD.

  6. this post cracked me up! thanks :)