Having recently endured a formal family portrait with four generations of the Farmer’s family (19 of us, including a 3-year-old in a very bad mood whose vocabulary that day consisted largely of “NO!”), I really enjoy the simplicity of taking pictures of my dogs.
One is an OTCh. One is an OTCh.-pointed UD with UDX legs. They can do a simple sit/stay, right? No brainer! Pose the dogs in a scenic setting, tell them to stay, get the camera, snap a few dozen frames and there you go - brilliant new pics for the blog and the Christmas card. Impress my friends and family.
Do you see any new pics here?
There you have it.
I am developing an unnatural attachment to this blog header, which I’ve had for over a year. I kept intending to replace it with a more seasonal snowy pic during the winter but we hardly got enough snow last year to make the effort worthwhile. It was the Winter That Wasn’t.
Several times throughout this fall, I set out to take new pics. All attempts met with limited success. Here is a condensed list of things that can go wrong when photographing allegedly trained dogs.
Pose dogs. Both dogs act like they’ve have no idea what “stay” means.
Pose dogs. Remind them firmly to stay. Dogs stay but give you a hateful, non-photogenic look.
Pose dogs. Jamie moves. At age 13 1/2, Jamie has decided he doesn’t need to do anything he doesn’t feel like. And why would he feel like staying over THERE when the cookies and Mom are over HERE.
Pose dogs. Jamie tips over. Although his vestibular issues have greatly improved since the episode in early October, he is still wobbly and occasionally just loses his balance.
Pose dogs. Phoenix’s ears disappear. I don’t know where they go. Apparently he can fold them directly into his skull.
Pose dogs. Dog A decides he wants no part of Dog B touching him and shifts just enough to wreck the composition of the photo.
Pose dogs. Dog suddenly feels the need to perform personal hygiene.
Pose dogs. Line up shot. Nobody moves. Perfect! Dog sneezes just as I press the shutter.
Pose dogs. Dogs refuse to look at the camera, no matter how many kissy-squeaky noises I make.
Pose dogs. Peel Phoenix off my head. Assure him "Kitty, kitty" was just a joke.
Pose dogs. Phoenix hears a command beamed from the starship Enterprise and takes off to go where no Malinois has gone before.
Pose dogs. Line up shot. Notice huge eye goobers that were NOT there 10 seconds ago.
Pose dogs. Jamie forgets what he’s doing and wanders out of the frame.
Pose dogs. Dogs look in two opposite directions. Not sayin' "Kitty, kitty" again. I don't have a death wish.
Pose dogs. Now Jamie’s ears are sideways. He looks like a Belgian version of Yoda.
Pose dogs. Phoenix decides he needs to hack up a hairball.
Pose dogs. The Farmer pulls up in the pickup and both dogs bolt to go see their papa.
I swear they are trained. Apparently very badly.