Happy Valentine's Day, from the Malinois

I love you, that’s why I stare at you in the dark in the morning until you get up. People who don’t have dogs who love them have to rely on alarm clocks. What if the power goes out?

I love you, that’s why I grab your shoes and race around the house with them, ricocheting off the walls, while you’re getting dressed to take me out. People who don’t have dogs who love them wake up much slower. They might miss something important at the start of their day.

I love you, that’s why I peak around the edge of the spare bedroom door with a pair of your underwear in my mouth while you’re walking on the treadmill. People who don’t have dogs who love them have to exercise a lot harder to get that little added cardio burst.

I love you, that’s why I drool on your lap while you eat breakfast. People who don’t have dogs who love them don’t appreciate their food nearly as much.

I love you, that’s why I always help you go to the bathroom. People who don’t have dogs who love them could get very lonely in their bathrooms.

I love you, that’s why I attack your bath towel when you get out of the shower. People who don’t have dogs who love them have much slower reflexes.  

I love you, that’s why I get between your knees and lick your face and steal your socks while you’re getting ready to leave for work. People who don’t have dogs who love them get to work on time, creating unrealistic expectations from their employers.

I love you, that’s why I slide into the kitchen rug when you come home from work and jam it up under the door so the door only opens about 6 inches. People who don’t have dogs to love them aren’t nearly as good at spontaneous problem solving.

I love you, that’s why I scare the holy freaking crap (your words, not mine) out of you by growling and barking and diving under the grain truck in the machine shed while you’re feeding the cat in the dark. People who don’t have dogs who love them never get to experience the spontaneous adrenaline rush that comes from thinking the boogie man might be right behind them. It was a frog. Sorry.

I love you, that’s why I bring you stuff from the laundry hamper while you’re washing the supper dishes. People who don’t have dogs who love them get way too serious about daily chores.

I love you, that’s why I chase the cat. People who don’t have dogs who love them are unaware of the world threat posed by cats.

I love you, that’s why I ate the bag of tortilla chips you left on the end table in the living room. People who don’t have dogs who love them eat too many chips. I ate the chip clip, too, just to be safe.

I love you, that’s why I shed fur all over the place. People who don’t have dogs who love them start to think a clean house means they're special or something.

I love you, that’s why I spend at least an hour every night following you around the house with a ball. People who don’t have dogs who love them can forget how important it is to play every day.

I love you, that’s why I occasionally goose you in places that make you jump and swear. Yep, your reflexes are still good.

I love you. Just because you're my person. Taking care of you is the most important thing I do all day.